On Relationship

These are the conclusions I summarized after listening to the guidance from my new relationship adviser (and maybe the only one): Mr. Big.And these are very very good advices.

1. Rule of thumb: Only get into a relationship when it makes you happy. If you start to feel sad, irritated, disturbed, paranoid or painful, you should may as well stop.

2. You have every right to be selfish in a relationship. Because bottom line, you need to love yourself and protect yourself.

3. A good relationship cannot be established just by your own effort. It demands devotion, effort, compromise from both sides.

4. If a man said he loves you, it means nothing other than the fact that he said it. If he always uses studies and career as excuses not to accompany you, it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love you. It just means he doesn't love you enough. And it's OK.

5. If you know a relationship won't lead to marriage and he is not the "right" one, but you still like him in certain ways, you may still enjoy the time with him by committing maybe 50% of what you have originally planned to commit.

6. Don't always follow your instinct. Instinct doesn't lie, but you tend to misunderstand it, all the time.

7. Never get into a relationship because you need a relationship. Enjoy being single, because one day you will lose the opportunity of that, forever.

8. Relationship is all about timing. He might be the right one, but this is not the right time.

9. Sometimes you need to think about relationship in economic terms. You may want to devote and even sacrifice yourself now, if you know that he is the "right" one and you will gain good "payoff" in the future. In terms of PV, you're still making a profit. But if there is"no future", and there is no happiness but only sacrifice for you"now", why the hell are you still in this relationship?

10. There is not one Mr. Right pre-selected for you. There can be many Mr. Rights, or none at all, depending on how you view it. There is not even a situation of "perfect match". It can be perfect for a day, a week, a month, but never so for a life-time.

11. Even if you think Rule No. 9 is BS, and you still desparately believe in "Mr. Right". You should still refer to Rule No. 3, always. Because emotions can be a one-man show, relationship can never.