The Other Side

Every coin has two sides. Such an old saying, maybe too old. A cup of water stands on the table. Either you see it as half full, or half empty. But it is interesting to see how people still make use of it nowadays.

For politicians/business people, it is the so called “positive framing”. As much as our dear president claims how he would represent and “unite” all races, genders, religions, and political views, he will inevitably lean to the Democratic philosophy and system. But by framing himself as a leader to “unite” as opposed to “divide” or “compete”, he made a powerful presentation of what he could bring to this nation. Similarly, despite the fact that there will be overlaps and reduction from both sides, an acquisition will most likely frame itself to be a “strategic growth” opportunity, as opposed to a “consolidation” process. Does it change any real work being done or not to be done? No, but it sounds better, meaning, it sounds with less uncertainties, worries, concerns, and nervousness. It can make some people’s life a lot easier, though you still may end up leaving the place.

For personality psychologist, it means going one step further. “Trait” is not enough, you can tell after talking to total stranger for about 1 minute that he is open, friendly, easy-going, funny, etc. The next step is to bring the connection to another level by getting in touch with the “personal concerns”, what are his goals, values, what bring him here and what will lead his future. The third step is “identity”, of course. But the important thing is to know how to bridge the gap between the first two, how to leap from this side of a total stranger to the other side of a close friend. Here you have to ask the right questions, smart enough to please him, interesting enough to intrigue him, candid enough to relax him, and deep enough to inspire him. I’m sure you can come up with a few questions yourself.

For ordinary people like me who are slightly superstitious yet too busy to dig into anything too analytical or philosophical, remember one thing: people see what they want to see. Does looking at the other side of the coin change the fact that there are two sides of a coin? Absolutely no. Does looking at the other side of the coin change what are already there on both sides anyway? Absolutely no either. If you are a positive person, you will see the other side, easily, automatically, almost by default. You will see every adversity as an opportunity and try to make the best out of each and everyone of your mistakes. If you are a negative person, you are stuck with one side. Of course you have the choice simply to flip the coin over, but you will refuse to do so, and a lot of times, pretend that there is no such thing as the other side at all.

Ultimately, it is all about perception. The nature of the things and the fundamental facts will not change, just like every morning the sun will raise and the moon will go down, even sometimes you simply don’t see it because there are clouds. Perception is hard to change once established because it has a lot to do with personality. However if you are smart enough, you should know how to embrace what life has to offer you as a human being.

As for me, I tell myself this: there’re always two answers to a question: a happy one and an unhappy one. I choose the former.